The Most Important Question to ask a Bride-to-be!

I remember waking up in the middle of the night and pulling my hand close to my face to see if there really was a diamond on my finger. It was the night after he proposed and it felt so surreal that I didn’t know if it had really happened! People were so excited to hear the story of the proposal, look at my ring, and ask me how I felt about the proposal and what was to come. By month two, the planning was in full swing and people were asking about a date, venue location, flowers, the usual wedding planning things.


Month three, four, five, same thing. Details, details, details.


I kept wrestling with how to handle the juxtaposition of great joy, but also great loss. I would soon be losing things I had grown used to my entire life: a lifestyle, my independence in certain areas, a last name. But I was also gaining so much: a life partner, teammate, a new name. And amongst all this messy (but necessary) emotion were the emails with vendors, the chatter of “is it in the budget,” and constant to-do lists.


In all of this, the only question I really wanted to answer was:

“How are you feeling?”

And I wanted someone to really sit and listen in.


Fortunately for me, I had bridesmaids and a Fiancé that were willing to ask this, and it changed my perspective and reminded me of the “why” behind what we were doing every time. It was like taking in a huge breath of fresh air and letting out a sigh of relief. This quote by Dr. Brene Brown reminds me of why this question is so important:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”

Isn’t that what this season of life is full of: innovation, creativity, and change?


When you give a bride the chance to be vulnerable with you and express her victories and struggles, anxiousness and excitement, you are allowing her to be present in the moment and create space for the future details with a little less stress and a little more joy.

All simply by asking, “How are you feeling?”

Caitlyn Wrenn